WHY MUST GEOFF JOHNS LEAVE :(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So, it's the end of Geoff John's run as a writer for Green Lantern. And he went out with a bang, indefinitely. His last issue was practically a graphic novel in it's own right (and for six quid, it better be) and it feature this awesome moment

Oh crap...

TOO MANY FEELS RRRRG.
I guess I'm gonna have to go out on a high to cheer myself up, so I leave with this.

This guy has guts.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

4 Woodkid Songs with weird hidden lines/meanings

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY AND ALCOHOLISM

Yeah, you read that correctly. The song this one is about is 'The Shore', so if you've heard it you have an advantage to understanding, as with all of the other songs. Now, you many not know this, but Woodkid is a guy. A bloke, a man, a dude, call him whatever, but he is male. That is they key point to this. Now, take a look at these lines;

'how could you feel the same way too?'

'so I guess you ought to know the truth'

So, let's get this straight. There's someone who can't feel the same way about him, but doesn't know the truth? I'm just going to put out the assumption that yep, you guessed it

He's singing about a man.

So, I hear you cry, 'But Matthew, where does alcohol come into this?'

Well, my strangely inquisitive reader, right now. To round off this song bit, look at this line;

'I drowned my pain in alcohol'

If that isn't concrete proof, I don't know what is.

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT A MARRIED, DEPRESSED AND (NOW) CHILDLESS WOMAN WHO HAS CHEATED IN THE PAST AND DIDN'T FOLLOW HER LOVER

It's a lot to process, isn't it?

I would have said it was about a gay bloke again, but the children thing convinced me it was a woman's POV. Let's tackle this all in stages.

Married woman ('my husband said it's how things go') who loses her children ('my children left on a cold night') becomes depressed ('where I live is where I cry') and it is revealed that she has cheated in the past ('when I try to forget that I never cheated').

Well, there we go. Onto number 3!

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES

The song this time is 'Iron', famously featured in the 'Assassin's Creed Revelations' trailer.

Now there are a LOT of points I could cover on this one, but I'll limit myself to just three.

Point 1

'The sound of iron shots is stuck in my head'

The Capitol fire a cannon every time a tribute dies in the book and film.

Point 2

'A soldier on my own'

It is very rare to have an alliance, shown by Ceasar Flickerman's reaction to the Career alliance in the movie.

Final point

'The  rising of the horns'

The confirmed name of the anthem of the capitol was 'Horn on plenty'.

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT, WELL... DEATH

Before you even hear the song 'The Other Side', you know it's going to be about death just from it's name, as people often refer to dying as 'going to the other side. Also, a line of this song is;

'Pretending life is worth the fight'

So obviously we're dealing with someone suicidal here. And that's only the second line. This is the one that confirmed it for me;

'I'm slowly drifting into slumber

 Cos I have lost the force to fight

 It's like a cold hand on my shoulder

 I'll see you on the other side'

Now if he's not singing about death there, what is he singing about?

THE CONCLUSION?

Woodkid is depressing.

Ministry of tumblr and tumblry-ness

I have now joined tumblr! Follow my blog on there if you want to see me do random stuff on two platforms
CLICK HERE to go to my blog, If you want.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Game Glitch Thursday (Saturday Edition) #4: Another Sims Horror

Crime Scene Exhibit A: Demons

Yay, I'm back. I know I missed a few days, but I do have a (mild) life, you know. And because  like Glitches so much, I thought why not come back with one.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Important stuff (kinda)

Owen Arkley, I look directly at you.
You had no right to make that post about Jack
It made you look like even more of a moron than you already are

Right, now that warrants some explanation.
A while ago me and my friends had a little... argument among ourselves. So my 'friend' Owen Arkley decided to be all like

And tried to fix the problem. Yeah so that didn't work and he ended up making a blog post about how one of us was a moron, except with swearing. So now I've cleared that up, I'll end this post here.

Thanks for reading,

SuitedMonkey

The SuitedMonkey webcomic #1!

Game Glitch thursday 3: Sims Horror

Above: Slenderman's birthing video

Wow. That's nightmare fuel right there if I've ever seen it. If anyone has an explanation for whatever the hell this thing actually is, then I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Life goes on...

Ugh. I'm just annoyed and sad and, well...
I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Everything I've done... It's all been for nothing. It's like people don't even class me as another human, they just see me as a photo to hurl insults at. What the hell did I ever do to them that I haven't apologised for? My closest frinds have turned on me and I don't even know what to do anymore...
I tried to help people and make them happy, and this is what I get in return? Thanks a lot, morons. I haven't done anything, said anything, be anything that would annoy them. I don't understand... why me? It was all him. Him and his phsycopathic ex-girlfriend. People say to me 'be the bigger man, ignore them'. You know what people also say?
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
I have a plan, of sorts. It's a killer, it really is.
But that's enough about my personal life, normal blog resumes later.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

ALL THE RAGE

So I've had, it's safe to say, a crap day.
Let me sum it up with a conversation I had today on skype,

Did you hear that X said I couldn't produce a literary peice of any worth?And he's just been an H-O-R-E to me all day
And NOT in a good way
He said I was a liar when I said I 'didn't know and didn't care about' my 200m time
I'm sorry if I had more important things on my mind, like CATCHING MY BREATH
Various callings of pitiful, weak etc
And all in one day.

Now I know that doesn't sound like much but imagine that repeated about 10 times through the whole damn day. It got annoying after a while and I just wanted to punch X in the face multiple times.

Thanks for reading (and raging),
SuitedMonkey

p.s. X isn't their name. It was there to protect their security. Despite how much I hate them, I still have basic respect for security.

The Rage Blog: Stupid questions

Know I know this is more of an annoyance than a rage, but people ask some pretty dumb questions sometimes. You know the ones, ones when you're at a restaurant (sp?) and the waiter is like;

'Would you like some food?'
Nope. Just gonna sit here and stare at other people eat, don't mind me. Of course I want some damn food! I didn't come here just to sit for an hour!

And, in the words of the brilliant Peter Kay, amnesiac teachers. Oh, I could go on for ages about this one, but I'll limit myself to three. We all know a teacher who either says
'Who do you think you are?'
OR
'Where do you think you are?'
OR EVEN
'Who do you think I am?'

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Grammar (a force which seems to be nonexistent in this world)

I have decided.
99% of the YouTube population is/are idiots. You know who I'm talking about- the illiterate ones. Now, I know I've made a few grammatical errors in previous posts, but that was only because sometimes I type so fast that I get the letters jumbled up.
Let's take a look at some comments from 'Double Dare Fail' by danisnotinteresting-

Alyssa McIntyre-

im attactive sometimes?!?!?!?? you mean ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh, wow. First of all, one bit of punctuation at the end of a sentence. ?!?!?!?? is NOT appropriate, more punctuation does not equal more emotion. You need to capitalize 'I'm' and 'You'. It's spelt 'attractive' and, last time I checked, time only had 1 'e'.

dorisrava

at 2:09 that red smoke in the top left luuks like it is giving you ''the finger''

*slow clap* You didn't even spell 'looks' right. Well done you.

meaboo8600
They stopped doing fan mail. They both closed there P.O boxes...
THEIR, YOU ILLITERATE MORON!

And, yes. I am a grammar Nazi. But, in my opinion, if you're going to say or write something for the whole internet to see, you may as well say or write it correctly, and with good grammar. On a final note, 'grammar', not 'grammer', to that kind of moron.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Game Glitch Thursday #2: Ultimate Shock

This guy just divided by zero

Well. I guess this is what happens when you become REALLY shocked, your mouth just caves in on itself. This wonderful monstrosity came from a Rocky videogame or something, google it if you're desperate to find out the facts.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

SuitedMonkey LOVES... Gary from Bully (not in a gay way)

The one on the left, in case you were wondering.

Ah, Gary. The socio/phsycopathic main antagonist of Bully. This guy has to be one of my favourite video game characters ever, not because of boss battles or graphics or even character design, just because of how purely INSANE he was. Let's demonstrate this with a few quotes.

 Because I can! Because making little people like you and the morons who run this place eat out of the palm of my hand feels great!
- Gary

 The thing is - if I win, you're just another punk. You win and you'll be sent away even quicker for beating up the head boy.
 - Gary

And he was a genius. An Insane genius, at that, but still a genius nonetheless. I also find myself able to identify with Gary. Is that odd? I think so.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey