WHY MUST GEOFF JOHNS LEAVE :(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So, it's the end of Geoff John's run as a writer for Green Lantern. And he went out with a bang, indefinitely. His last issue was practically a graphic novel in it's own right (and for six quid, it better be) and it feature this awesome moment

Oh crap...

TOO MANY FEELS RRRRG.
I guess I'm gonna have to go out on a high to cheer myself up, so I leave with this.

This guy has guts.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

4 Woodkid Songs with weird hidden lines/meanings

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY AND ALCOHOLISM

Yeah, you read that correctly. The song this one is about is 'The Shore', so if you've heard it you have an advantage to understanding, as with all of the other songs. Now, you many not know this, but Woodkid is a guy. A bloke, a man, a dude, call him whatever, but he is male. That is they key point to this. Now, take a look at these lines;

'how could you feel the same way too?'

'so I guess you ought to know the truth'

So, let's get this straight. There's someone who can't feel the same way about him, but doesn't know the truth? I'm just going to put out the assumption that yep, you guessed it

He's singing about a man.

So, I hear you cry, 'But Matthew, where does alcohol come into this?'

Well, my strangely inquisitive reader, right now. To round off this song bit, look at this line;

'I drowned my pain in alcohol'

If that isn't concrete proof, I don't know what is.

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT A MARRIED, DEPRESSED AND (NOW) CHILDLESS WOMAN WHO HAS CHEATED IN THE PAST AND DIDN'T FOLLOW HER LOVER

It's a lot to process, isn't it?

I would have said it was about a gay bloke again, but the children thing convinced me it was a woman's POV. Let's tackle this all in stages.

Married woman ('my husband said it's how things go') who loses her children ('my children left on a cold night') becomes depressed ('where I live is where I cry') and it is revealed that she has cheated in the past ('when I try to forget that I never cheated').

Well, there we go. Onto number 3!

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES

The song this time is 'Iron', famously featured in the 'Assassin's Creed Revelations' trailer.

Now there are a LOT of points I could cover on this one, but I'll limit myself to just three.

Point 1

'The sound of iron shots is stuck in my head'

The Capitol fire a cannon every time a tribute dies in the book and film.

Point 2

'A soldier on my own'

It is very rare to have an alliance, shown by Ceasar Flickerman's reaction to the Career alliance in the movie.

Final point

'The  rising of the horns'

The confirmed name of the anthem of the capitol was 'Horn on plenty'.

WOODKID SINGS ABOUT, WELL... DEATH

Before you even hear the song 'The Other Side', you know it's going to be about death just from it's name, as people often refer to dying as 'going to the other side. Also, a line of this song is;

'Pretending life is worth the fight'

So obviously we're dealing with someone suicidal here. And that's only the second line. This is the one that confirmed it for me;

'I'm slowly drifting into slumber

 Cos I have lost the force to fight

 It's like a cold hand on my shoulder

 I'll see you on the other side'

Now if he's not singing about death there, what is he singing about?

THE CONCLUSION?

Woodkid is depressing.

Ministry of tumblr and tumblry-ness

I have now joined tumblr! Follow my blog on there if you want to see me do random stuff on two platforms
CLICK HERE to go to my blog, If you want.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Game Glitch Thursday (Saturday Edition) #4: Another Sims Horror

Crime Scene Exhibit A: Demons

Yay, I'm back. I know I missed a few days, but I do have a (mild) life, you know. And because  like Glitches so much, I thought why not come back with one.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Important stuff (kinda)

Owen Arkley, I look directly at you.
You had no right to make that post about Jack
It made you look like even more of a moron than you already are

Right, now that warrants some explanation.
A while ago me and my friends had a little... argument among ourselves. So my 'friend' Owen Arkley decided to be all like

And tried to fix the problem. Yeah so that didn't work and he ended up making a blog post about how one of us was a moron, except with swearing. So now I've cleared that up, I'll end this post here.

Thanks for reading,

SuitedMonkey

The SuitedMonkey webcomic #1!

Game Glitch thursday 3: Sims Horror

Above: Slenderman's birthing video

Wow. That's nightmare fuel right there if I've ever seen it. If anyone has an explanation for whatever the hell this thing actually is, then I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Life goes on...

Ugh. I'm just annoyed and sad and, well...
I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Everything I've done... It's all been for nothing. It's like people don't even class me as another human, they just see me as a photo to hurl insults at. What the hell did I ever do to them that I haven't apologised for? My closest frinds have turned on me and I don't even know what to do anymore...
I tried to help people and make them happy, and this is what I get in return? Thanks a lot, morons. I haven't done anything, said anything, be anything that would annoy them. I don't understand... why me? It was all him. Him and his phsycopathic ex-girlfriend. People say to me 'be the bigger man, ignore them'. You know what people also say?
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
I have a plan, of sorts. It's a killer, it really is.
But that's enough about my personal life, normal blog resumes later.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

ALL THE RAGE

So I've had, it's safe to say, a crap day.
Let me sum it up with a conversation I had today on skype,

Did you hear that X said I couldn't produce a literary peice of any worth?And he's just been an H-O-R-E to me all day
And NOT in a good way
He said I was a liar when I said I 'didn't know and didn't care about' my 200m time
I'm sorry if I had more important things on my mind, like CATCHING MY BREATH
Various callings of pitiful, weak etc
And all in one day.

Now I know that doesn't sound like much but imagine that repeated about 10 times through the whole damn day. It got annoying after a while and I just wanted to punch X in the face multiple times.

Thanks for reading (and raging),
SuitedMonkey

p.s. X isn't their name. It was there to protect their security. Despite how much I hate them, I still have basic respect for security.

The Rage Blog: Stupid questions

Know I know this is more of an annoyance than a rage, but people ask some pretty dumb questions sometimes. You know the ones, ones when you're at a restaurant (sp?) and the waiter is like;

'Would you like some food?'
Nope. Just gonna sit here and stare at other people eat, don't mind me. Of course I want some damn food! I didn't come here just to sit for an hour!

And, in the words of the brilliant Peter Kay, amnesiac teachers. Oh, I could go on for ages about this one, but I'll limit myself to three. We all know a teacher who either says
'Who do you think you are?'
OR
'Where do you think you are?'
OR EVEN
'Who do you think I am?'

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Grammar (a force which seems to be nonexistent in this world)

I have decided.
99% of the YouTube population is/are idiots. You know who I'm talking about- the illiterate ones. Now, I know I've made a few grammatical errors in previous posts, but that was only because sometimes I type so fast that I get the letters jumbled up.
Let's take a look at some comments from 'Double Dare Fail' by danisnotinteresting-

Alyssa McIntyre-

im attactive sometimes?!?!?!?? you mean ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh, wow. First of all, one bit of punctuation at the end of a sentence. ?!?!?!?? is NOT appropriate, more punctuation does not equal more emotion. You need to capitalize 'I'm' and 'You'. It's spelt 'attractive' and, last time I checked, time only had 1 'e'.

dorisrava

at 2:09 that red smoke in the top left luuks like it is giving you ''the finger''

*slow clap* You didn't even spell 'looks' right. Well done you.

meaboo8600
They stopped doing fan mail. They both closed there P.O boxes...
THEIR, YOU ILLITERATE MORON!

And, yes. I am a grammar Nazi. But, in my opinion, if you're going to say or write something for the whole internet to see, you may as well say or write it correctly, and with good grammar. On a final note, 'grammar', not 'grammer', to that kind of moron.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Game Glitch Thursday #2: Ultimate Shock

This guy just divided by zero

Well. I guess this is what happens when you become REALLY shocked, your mouth just caves in on itself. This wonderful monstrosity came from a Rocky videogame or something, google it if you're desperate to find out the facts.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

SuitedMonkey LOVES... Gary from Bully (not in a gay way)

The one on the left, in case you were wondering.

Ah, Gary. The socio/phsycopathic main antagonist of Bully. This guy has to be one of my favourite video game characters ever, not because of boss battles or graphics or even character design, just because of how purely INSANE he was. Let's demonstrate this with a few quotes.

 Because I can! Because making little people like you and the morons who run this place eat out of the palm of my hand feels great!
- Gary

 The thing is - if I win, you're just another punk. You win and you'll be sent away even quicker for beating up the head boy.
 - Gary

And he was a genius. An Insane genius, at that, but still a genius nonetheless. I also find myself able to identify with Gary. Is that odd? I think so.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Bringing Justice Where It Is Due

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday or saturday. I was a tad busy and I didn't really have the time. But I'll do SuitedMonkey LOVES... and the Rage Blog tomorrow and wednesday to make up for where I've missed. And I'll be bringing justice soon...
That's not a hint towards the next special, it's a thing from my life. I'm correcting wrongs. Bringing justice. And euthanising manipulative cows, in a way.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Fabulous fridays!

Oh thank god it's friday. It's been a very tedious week of morons (you know who you are) school and revison. But I've got Doctor Who to look forward to tomorrow so that's good.
Now I have the whole weekend to listen to Woodkid, play video games and read comics. Life could not be better, until you take into account the pressing revision and hoemwork I have to do, as well as planning how to tell Mr Quinn... y'know, that's none of your business.
Have you lot got anything fun planned for this weekend? Any work you need to do?

Have a fun weekend,
SuitedMonkey

111 pageviews special!

OK so since my last post (earlier today) I hit 111 pagviews. I thought that was special-post worthy. So take a look at some pictures I've had on my computer for a while off the internet. I'm not even sure if these are funny, but who cares.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading 111 times,

SuitedMonkey



Game Glitch Thursday #1: A true kickstarter

Why is he not shooting this with every gun he has?

I think this little monstrosity comes from a COD game, but I'm not sure which one as I hope to never play any game from the COD series. I'm not going to elaborate on that.
As a random question do we have any NerdCubed fans out there? You don't know who NerdCubed is? Oh, the shame. He's responsible for quotes such as...
'What are those things that we use because children don't understand how gravity works?'
Or...
'In thinnest day, in fattest night,
No cake shall escape my sight
Let those who worship weightwatcher's might
Beware my spandex
FOR IT IS TOO TIGHT'

Thanks for Reading,
SuitedMonkey

Ugh. PE.

Darn and confound all this physical education crap. I really fail to see how this is classed as education, I mean it's not as if when you go to a job interview to be an accountant or something they'll ask you what qualifies someone to be 'out' in a game of rounders.
Also, Lobo has been announced as the first official DLC character for Injustice, so that's something for all you DLC typres to look forward too.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Morons

Hello internets
Yeah, so I didn't do a post yesterday because I was busy gathering information for this one. It's a bit of a serious topic today, being mental bullies.
I think of two different kinds of bullies, normal bullies who utilise physical violence and usually are not very bright.
And then you have mental bullies- who use their words as a weapon. These are the worse kind, because instead of leaving a temporary mark like a bruise or a cut, actually leave a permanent mark- madness, nervousness or in some very serious cases even suicide. An they're clever too- they know what to do to hurt you from the inside, know how you work.

There's a girl at my school, who for security reasons will only be know as she or her. She's a mental bully, the worse kind. And she's a real pain, to put it in the nicest way. Let's take a look at some things she's done to me and my friends in the past.

1) She threated to murder and rape us. Why? We corrected a mispronunciation.
2) Threatening to murder us and defecte on our corpses. Why? Because we questioned her leaving her bag on the metro
3) Sending one of her lackeys to beat us up for metioning her boyfriend

The list goes on...
Yeah, so she's a bit pathetic. But she's one of many out there, and we need to do something about them, because this is ridiculous. How people can be bullied for just being themselves. The people who do this kind of thing for kicks need to be stopped, so please- if you know about anything like this, tell someone. Be it a friend, teacher, manager or anyone- tell someone.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

On INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US

Oh
My
God

My fanboy meter is off the charts after the purchase of Injustice earlier today. Lets put this into context. I returned from the shops with it at around 3, and at 6:45 I stopped playing to watch Who. If a game can keep ME entertained for 3 hours (ish) then it's a success in my opinion.
To the pros and cons!

PROS;
-Interactive environments
-Multi-tiered arenas
-Good range of characters
-Great Storyline
-Cool moves
-Extra skins
-Levelling system

CONS (dun dun duuuuun);
-Wager system which I don't know how to activate or use
-Very Easy seems to be the only difficulty I can finish the game on
-Storyline is a tad complicated at times
-(this is a daft one) The Riddler and Scarecrow weren't playable

Also, what did we think of Hide (lastest episode of Doctor Who)? I thought the end was a bit naff, trust Neil Cross to turn a horror episode into a love story.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Injustice: Gods Among Us released!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
So Injustice was released today, and you may not know but I'm a massive DC fan so I'm uber excited. Getting it tomorrow, and will be writing an articale about my opinions on it.
If you want to know, it's cheapest from Grainger Games (in the UK) at 35 good old British pounds
I don't know who I'm more excited to play as. My top 5 in the game are;
- Sinestro
- Green Lantern
- Green Arrow
- Solomon Grundy
So, is there anyone you're sad isn't a playable character?
I'm sad you can't play as Scarecrow and the Riddler, as they're my fave DC villains.
Time to end it *ending dance*

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Social Awkwardness

Okay, shoot me now, I said it was a glitch thing today. That'll be starting next week, I promise.

So, today I decided to alk about how mind-bogglingly socially awkward I am. Kind of like a more awkward version of danisnotonfire. That would be me.
So, how awkward exactly am I?

To put his in a REAL LIFE (ZOMG) scenario, today one of my friend's sisters claimed to have been sent a threatening email by me. Now, I know this isn't true, that one of my other friends sent this when I wasn't at my computer. At this point, the normal non-awkward person would have just said 'I didn't send it, one of my other friends did.' and thought no more of it.
Oh, no no no, not me.
I just kind of ran off and yelled 'HUMAN ERROR I SENT IT TO THE WRONG PERSON' a few times. Uh-huh, so that happened. Yeah, they didn't believe me. So I was lying about what had happened, and they knew it. Except they thought I had actually sent it to the...
Nevermind, I've wittered enough for today.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Change of series plan!

-STOP PRESS-

There will be a change in the series plan for the blog. I'm going to change 'SuitedMonkey Reviews' to 'Game Glitch Thursday'. This will be a new midweek regular where I post an image of a humerous and/or creepy glitch I found on the internet, with a short explanation.

Also, 'SuitedMonkey LOVES' will now be a saturday series, and 'The Rage Blog' will follow on sundays, just so I'm not repeating series' every three days. That gives me some time to update on all the gaming news and play some more games!

Thank you for your consideration,
SuitedMonkey

SuitedMonkey LOVES... Red Faction: Guerilla!

It's your firendly neighbourhood SuitedMonkey again, here with the first SuitedMonkey LOVES... Blog post, this time looking at the video game Red Faction: Guerilla.

For those who haven't played the game, RFG is an open-world game set on Mars. You play as Alec Mason, a member of the rebel clan the 'Red Faction'. The main enemies of the game are the EDF (earth defense force), who are oppresing mars into slavery. I won't spoil any of the plot in case you want to play it yourself.

But the plot isn't why I love this game. Let's put this into context. Have you ever wanted to just destroy whole buildings in a video game? To just reduce them to piles of rubble? Well, in RFG, you can. Alec Mason is in possession of a hammer, with wich you can destroy any object on the surface of Mars. Obviously, you cannot destroy the ground, but anything else you can see can be destroyed.

As I say, there's a plot to this game, and it's probably good, but the fact that the hammer just destroys anything just makes me want to run around and mess around with buildings.

Time to end this. If you haven't played this game yet, you really should.
Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

The Rage Blog: On Homosexuality (and the idiots that think it's wrong)

May as well start this thing off with a bang. Homosexuality is a big issue of late, and it seems a worthy topic to go over.

So, to start, what is homosexuality?
Literally translated from the latin, homosexuality means 'same sex'. As it may suggest, homosexuality is the attraction to members of the same sex.

There are a few people out there who believe that homosexuality is somehow 'wrong', and that it is a things to be ashamed of. It isn't. It isn't sinful, unlawful or abnormal. Anyone who thinks they have the right to tell you that is a massive moron, to put it simply. And I don't care what people may think about this post, that is what I think. Deal with it.

A favourite YouTuber of mine, NerdCubed, made a video a while ago called 'Blasphemy 101'. I trust that you are intelligent enough to tell what that video was about. This video was shortly flagged and removed.
A few days after this event, a christian anti-gay group got adverts on London buses to demote homsexuality.

How can one group of people be allowed to present their ideas and beliefs, but another cannot?

Also, before people say, homosexuality is not a choice. People are born stright, gay, bi and all the other varieties. There is a small space of time in their childhood where the decision can be swayed, but not by the individual. It is most certainly not a choice.

Finally, homosexuality is experienced by over 1,000 species on this planet, so how, in any way, is it abnormal, or strange? I leave you with that thought.

Thanks for reading,
SuitedMonkey

Hello World!

So, this is the world we live in.
A world of hate
A world of crime
A world of destruction
A world of...

The internet.

As they say, in a world of blind men, the man who has one eye is king.
And now your king has arrived.

But this isn't his blog. Unfortunately his website is down so I'll be filling in for him until it's fixed. So, I'm SuitedMonkey, and I love to play video games. It's almost unhealthy. I'll try to make a new post every day or so, alternating between 3 series.

The Rage Blog: I'll rage about something that irks me.
SuitedMonkey LOVES: I'll go on about something I love, be it easter eggs, games or even TV shows.
Reviewing: I'll review something. Literally, could be anything.

Maybe I'll do an off-series post once in a while, just to shake things up. But for now,

Thanks for reading.
Suited Monkey